May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
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