Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
