the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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