Please, let me fuck your mom
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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