No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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