I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize