then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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