Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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