jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
