did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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