hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
