He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
