I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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