So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
