im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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