Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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