ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
