i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
