East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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