The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
