It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
