New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
