did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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