im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
