3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
