i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize