how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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