Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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