im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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