It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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