you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
