I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
