There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
