ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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