i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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