I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
