I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
