I just made out with a guy for $7.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
