she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
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