Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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