Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
