clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize