people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
