So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I just forgot I was standing up.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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