i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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