so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
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