Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
