69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
How external is "for external use only"?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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