I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
