One girl and one boy is just not enough.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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