we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize