your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
