I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
