woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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