My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Houston, we have a blender
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
