Texts From Last Night

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  (845): View more from New York

  I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk

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  (845): I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk http://tfl.nu/2s8p
  Replies (13) Good night (909) Bad night (3941)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?

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  (616): GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore? http://tfl.nu/fc2z
  Replies (72) Good night (562) Bad night (3039)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?

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  (702): just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked? http://tfl.nu/yp0o
  Replies (25) Good night (594) Bad night (3282)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.

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  (416): Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be. http://tfl.nu/wari
  Replies (5) Good night (678) Bad night (2867)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!

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  (203): walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!! http://tfl.nu/de92
  Replies (33) Good night (814) Bad night (5487)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating

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  (817): I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating http://tfl.nu/2j7q
  Replies (8) Good night (5628) Bad night (1379)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now

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  (204): Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now http://tfl.nu/dal2
  Replies (15) Good night (568) Bad night (2638)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.

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  (850): This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes. http://tfl.nu/j4m5
  Replies (19) Good night (2749) Bad night (568)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.

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  (678): It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls. http://tfl.nu/0s5d
  Replies (6) Good night (1152) Bad night (583)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position

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  (405): That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position http://tfl.nu/yl9k
  Replies (6) Good night (791) Bad night (450)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.

  (269): View more from Michigan

  AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.

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  (269): That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE. (269): AND SOME IN THE TRUNK. http://tfl.nu/jicm
  Replies (4) Good night (1008) Bad night (294)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!

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  (614): I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit! http://tfl.nu/68by
  Replies (3) Good night (684) Bad night (447)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.

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  (623): It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that. http://tfl.nu/i8dz
  Replies (5) Good night (726) Bad night (257)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.

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  (740): I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes. http://tfl.nu/v5b0
  Replies (4) Good night (806) Bad night (417)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.

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  (314): The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise. http://tfl.nu/hqv3
  Replies (5) Good night (379) Bad night (331)

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