Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(716): View more from New York

After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant

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(716): After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant http://tfl.nu/56nj

Replies (14) Good night (4645) Bad night (681)
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(561): View more from Florida

The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.

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(561): The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy. http://tfl.nu/an4v

Replies (30) Good night (2157) Bad night (6228)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury

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(901): You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury http://tfl.nu/7ksy

Replies (17) Good night (5491) Bad night (1086)
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(314): View more from Missouri

Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.

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(314): Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning. http://tfl.nu/u08e

Replies (7) Good night (3389) Bad night (924)
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(765): View more from Indiana

he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.

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(765): he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it. http://tfl.nu/1dic

Replies (9) Good night (3278) Bad night (1340)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads

(1-203): View more from Connecticut

Like Teddy Roosevelt

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(203): I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads (1-203): Like Teddy Roosevelt http://tfl.nu/jrby

Replies (4) Good night (2001) Bad night (720)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.

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(423): take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me. http://tfl.nu/qdcc

Replies (20) Good night (2296) Bad night (1017)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"

(732): View more from New Jersey

Career choice validated

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(732): Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!" (732): Career choice validated http://tfl.nu/g765

Replies (51) Good night (9626) Bad night (1082)
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(309): View more from Illinois

I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?

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(309): I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing? http://tfl.nu/0fxz

Replies (7) Good night (509) Bad night (966)
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(971): View more from Oregon

Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.

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(971): Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica. http://tfl.nu/ptav

Replies (3) Good night (1122) Bad night (397)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.

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(704): I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes. http://tfl.nu/6fin

Replies (5) Good night (899) Bad night (615)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.

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(306): Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol. http://tfl.nu/3yus

Replies (3) Good night (918) Bad night (318)
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(678): View more from Georgia

He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.

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(678): He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever. http://tfl.nu/2bus

Replies (3) Good night (725) Bad night (342)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest

(604): View more from British Columbia

We've made things harder for ourselves

(778): View more from British Columbia

The struggle will be part of the fun

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(604): I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest (604): We've made things harder for ourselves (778): The struggle will be part of the fun http://tfl.nu/kjb3

Replies (4) Good night (562) Bad night (338)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.

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(843): The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys. http://tfl.nu/pqxt

Replies (3) Good night (327) Bad night (292)

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