The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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