Texts From Last Night

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  (816): View more from Missouri

  if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.

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  (816): if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin. http://tfl.nu/cu5c
  Replies (83) Good night (4617) Bad night (684)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.

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  (719): never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned. http://tfl.nu/n10p
  Replies (12) Good night (585) Bad night (5531)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life

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  (248): after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life http://tfl.nu/k9mo
  Replies (16) Good night (4618) Bad night (1329)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.

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  (717): I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me. http://tfl.nu/9q78
  Replies (3) Good night (947) Bad night (2506)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.

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  (214): Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing. http://tfl.nu/4y7p
  Replies (9) Good night (6083) Bad night (1214)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread

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  (910): I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread http://tfl.nu/evst
  Replies (21) Good night (3571) Bad night (1720)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.

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  (813): You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids. http://tfl.nu/99eg
  Replies (6) Good night (1250) Bad night (2849)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.

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  (918): Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose. http://tfl.nu/n06v
  Replies (6) Good night (1485) Bad night (534)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?

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  (301): Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed? http://tfl.nu/ow4j
  Replies (5) Good night (1393) Bad night (432)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid

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  (406): Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid http://tfl.nu/t6fb
  Replies (8) Good night (1633) Bad night (471)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.

  (239): View more from Florida

  that is the opposite of a normal text message.

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  (850): I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult. (239): that is the opposite of a normal text message. http://tfl.nu/cufq
  Replies (6) Good night (1666) Bad night (504)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it

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  (774): Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down? (978): I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it http://tfl.nu/io4i
  Replies (6) Good night (1078) Bad night (354)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.

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  (719): Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink. http://tfl.nu/ib0d
  Replies (5) Good night (782) Bad night (295)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?

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  (404): He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind? http://tfl.nu/kg6f
  Replies (9) Good night (930) Bad night (345)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.

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  (816): You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir. http://tfl.nu/hg5f
  Replies (2) Good night (432) Bad night (191)

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