Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE

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(361): View more from Texas

At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?

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(513): View more from Ohio

Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(937): View more from Ohio

Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.

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(816): View more from Missouri

I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.

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(503): View more from Oregon

In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.

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(661): View more from California

GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!

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