He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
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just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
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Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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