You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
