I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize