Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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