Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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