wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
You can't motorboat a personality
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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