so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
