he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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