my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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