is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
